2022 awake

  today early get up n reply wtsapp msg but then daytime slept much coz nothing to do   n btw no mood to tidy up stuff n since am received several calls from kh  only til evening, gone out for grocer n then join cat n use up consumption voucher  did buy two kettles, some grapes for angel n wellcome coupons  at night.. pour down 1L rice milk.. did prep 2L yet feel too full.. thus stop after 1L at bedtime.. listen to radio  n meanwhile still miss the ppl in ward 8d n my doc.. omg.. 

  today I'm discharged from kh. it feels like I'm back to the reality from dream... the feeling is strange.. the feeling of lingering between dream n reality.. I missed the co-patients there, missed the nurses that I used to see every day, missed the good  servers who joke n help w/ me...  what's more... I miss the doctor who walked me through the tough times. he had been there, for a few dozens of meetings, always listening.  we hv had sincere n emotional conversations. through discussions he provided guidance for my decision making in life.  he, who absorbed my negative energy n bottled up my secrets, is somebody I can depend on. he was the one who made me feel secured n gave me courage to make a change.  somehow, I've developed an emotional bond to him. n it kind of becomes a habit for me to look forward to the next meeting.  now that I'm away from that cage, no one is gonna come visit me. no more waiting, no more longing, no more hoping...  me...